I sometimes ask myself: now that I have recovered so much since my brain surgery, what’s next? What is the point of such a miracle if I waste it?
There are days when I feel that the only right response to the gift of recovery is to honor God with every journal page I create. But then I find myself aimlessly doodling things I like, or making a collage of what feels good, and I can hardly scold myself. I gain so much peace of mind from the time I spend with my art journal, it would be wrong to call it “a waste,” even when the images don’t refer to religion, or spirituality, or the Bible. I want to honor God, but I don’t think would be right for my journal to become a chore or my art time to be when I ask myself if I have been holy enough. Such a burden doesn’t seem like the point of my recovery, either.
After all, even Bono’s lyrics vary a bit.While he often sings of his questions to and his search for God in a raw and honest way, that is not the only subject he explores in his music. Nevertheless, in his songs I often here the voice of the Psalmist–and as Thomas Merton says, “The Psalms are songs of men who knew who God was.”
That’s the kind of voice I am searching for! So even if I wander from that path, it is still my goal. Enjoy the holiday season, everyone!
I honestly feel that God just wants you to ‘be’. You are doing all the right things. Don’t waste time worrying about ‘wandering’ that’s part of living:))
It is so interesting that you quoted Thomas Merton because I am reading a book by him right now! wow. Its called “The Way of Chuang Tzu” and I was just reading a passage from this last night to my husband. it’s is called “When the Shoe Fits” and I think this relates to what you are talking about… it goes like this:
“Ch’ui the draftsman
Could draw more perfect circle freehand
Than with a compass
His fingers brought forth
Spontaneous forms from nowhere. His mind
Was meanwhile free and without concern
With what he was going.
No application was needed
His mind was perfectly simple
And knew no obstacle.
So, when the shoe fits
The foot is forgotten,
When the belt fits
The belly is forgotten,
Whe the heart is right,
“For” and “against” are forgotten.
No drives, no compulsions,
No needs, no attractions:
Then your affairs
Are under control.
You are a free man.
Easy is right. Begin right
And you are easy.
Continue easy and you are right.
The right way to go easy
Is to forget the right way
And forget that the going is easy.”
Go easy Laura and you’ll be alright:) Thanks for your post, as always its a breath of fresh air.
Oh… I love that poem! Thank you for sharing it, and thank you also for your kind words and encouragement!!! They are always appreciated! 🙂